


Just a little pill (And my problems are washed away)

by the100fanfictions



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Sad, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:35:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the100fanfictions/pseuds/the100fanfictions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wake in the morning and know im not worth, I scrub and wash but still covered in dirt, I cough and splutter as I feel violenty ill-<br/>just one more pill. Just one more pill...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a little pill (And my problems are washed away)

_I wake in the morning and know I'm not worth, I scrub and wash but still covered in dirt, I cough and splutter as I feel_   _violently ill-_  
 _just one more pill. Just one more pill..._

The sleep heavily coated my eye lids, the dull grey light coming though my window seemingly blinding me... I feel empty- worthless.  
She remembered the days where she was princess, she laughed now as she thought of it, although it sounded like a high pitch cackle mocking herself continuously.

She slowly walked to the bathroom, she had become so week over the last few months, every step seemed to but a struggle but she pressed on, every morning.

She got into the shower, water never seems to be hot enough... Soon the shower water was scorching her skin, the boiling water steaming up the room she scrubbed and scrubbed, but the never seemed clean- always so dirty...

The water cut out, and she sank into the bath tub hugging her knees because she had no one to hug her...

  
 _Clarke Griffin always had to be the strong one in life, when her dad died, when it was her mom who turned him in... All he had done was try tell the people about the disease they could catch but the government didn't like that._

_"No, if we let them struggle the cure will be simple to find, we hide it and wait and then the money will come pouring in!"_

  
_Jake Griffin had more dignity than that, thats why she loved him._

  
_"Are you sick? You'll let people die for money?" he spat back, however her mother was in the goverment herself and when she told them... she never saw jake griffin again._

_"Clarke they'll think your crazy- a little girl driven by the fact her Dad died- they'll send you away!"_  


So thats what they did.  
But she was a fighter, and they had given up there search for her as she had now moved to virginia no one knew her here...

  


She hadn't realized she was crying until a tears kept falling onto her naked body.

Then she started shaking, it was like her whole body was about to shut down- coughing and spluttering trying to get whatever her body had left out. (She was all rib and bone now, it looked like you could play her rib cage as a xylophone).

Then she started coughing blood, it stained her hands, but it was so fascinating red was the color of love, but in a sense it was also the color of death.  
She didnt believe that was a coincidence.

She reached for the pills, just a few more and all the pain will go away... she thought.  
She wasn't sure if she was talking about her pain or her emotions anymore.  
It was probably her emotions if she was truthful.

She looked in the mirror, the pills in one hand.

Is this what she had become?  
Her cheekbones where sharp so there her thin arms- her legs- her ribs, sharp edges where soft curves had once been.

Bellamy used to love her curves...  
The thought of him pushed her as she swallowed the alcohol and pills in her hand.  
It was all better this way.

At first she saw black and then she saw everything..

  
 _"Clarke! Look im sorry!"_  
 _"Why cant you just leave me alone Bellamy?! Its not fair ok? I just- I cant keep doing this! Im struggling to pay rent my med school work can you please just-" she didnt finish her sentence because Bellamy kissed her._  
 _There first kiss._

  


_She grabbed the rolling pin covered in paint and rolled it all over Bellamys t shirt._  
 _"Oh its on Griffin."_  
 _She laughed then trying to get away as he put her in a firemans carry, using his over arm to paint her nose in the baby blue they where sing for there baby's room._

  


_She lost the baby when her dad was killed... she lost Bellamy too. She ran, she couldn't bare to face him, not like this. Not this damaged and not without the baby._

_She felt warm breath against her face and shaking- lots of shaking and commotion around her, when she use her remaining energy to open her eyes, she must have been hallucinating because in front of her was Bellamy._

  


**Author's Note:**

> Did it make you sad? Did it make you cry? (I dobt it) Tell me your thoughts and no im not leaving you on a cliff hanger (God I am such a little angel...) theres going to be a chapter after this in bellamys view sorta but only one (Im pretty sure this will stay a two shot) tell me your thoughts love ya ;) :) (P.S sorry I haven't posted much).


End file.
